Thursday, July 22, 2010

They want Ozzy?

Now, let me get this straight - they (a group of scientists, apparently) actually want to get Ozzy Osbourne's genome for medical purposes. They want to know how is it possible that he is still alive. Cool. What could be better? I honestly can't think of anything better to do with my time than to find out why he is alive. That would be so interesting, wouldn't it? To see what this guy is made of. And I don't mean the proverb, no, literally finding out what's inside this human being to understand how can he still exist. There are many people I'd like to examine like that. Like Hillary HillDog Clinton... or perhaps Garry Kasparov. Amy Winehouse would also make a great test-subject. Only that I am not really sure she is amongst the living. Or if she even lived at all - she might have been a walking dead to begin with.

Anyways - seemed like a cool idea though. And yes - I am genuinely interested what is their secret - to be drug-addicts, hated by everybody (Clinton), hated by the government (Kasparov) or being just so damn wasted all the fucking time... What is your secret?

In these desperate times - stuck in the middle!

Well, in fact the times are not so desperate afterall, are they? My parents (this year alone) have been to Cuba, RSA, France, going to Germany and later on in fall they're going to Spain or Tenerife to be more exact. So what my mum said tonight was full of wisdom for me. She said - credit crunch opens up more possibilities because people pay less attention...

This is true, come to think of it. We live in times of the worst economic collapse since 1933 and the only thing, it might seem, what people in charge are focusing on is how to save the nation and how to emerge from this bad situation a winner. The fact is, right - most common people don't have the time to think about this sort of thing. They have to get to their jobs or job centres to find a job - in order to provide for their families. That's all and well if it weren't that the Estonian government, as does the US government, claims that the backbone of the nation are the people. They constantly say that the people vote the officials to make the decisions and yet if the decision that they make don't work out how the politicians want them to, they can always fall back on the argument that the people have spoken - voted for those bad-decision-making fools to run the country. I got to thinking - isn't this a bit immature? I mean - they make the decisions their party tells them to make no matter what the pre-election statements were. So the argument that the people have some say in the decision-making process is absurd.

I know - the politicians are always lying about their agendas, right? So there's no reason why the Estonian politicians should be any different. But it brings me back to the original idea - people remain wilfully ignorant (thanks G. C.) to whatever happens in the upper circles for the simple reason that the middle class needs to get some work done. I see it every day with my girlfriend - she has an important job - if she didn't do it, it would not get done. Therefore - she needs to do her job. Whereas politicians make so very little effort to actually change anything. You know what the average attendance is for the Estonian Parliament consisting of 101 members? It's about half. That means that half the people we elected to part-take in the decision making process aren't even showing up to discussions half the time. That would all be fine, weren't there a fact that some of the bills need at least 2/3 of the whole of the Parliament to vote "PASS". That is difficult if you have only 44 people attending. So my question arises at last. Why do we pay triple and most of the time quadruple the amount of our own wages to the people who should be running this country, when they intentionally extend the approval of bills and don't even show up to discuss matters of national importance. It seems a shame and a waste to me.

Well, not to just let out steam and rant forever about the idiotic wages of the Parliament (and I doubt the wages are equal in the US or the UK or anywhere for that matter), I'd like to propose another fact. The public of any country - I mean the majority of voters - don't usually see the problems with the country. They might, when asked about problems within the state, go on and on about corrupt politicians and the low levels of education and that sort of thing. They never realize that the way all this began was with the lobbying and the intentional losing of government money. That lobbying is not in fact done by politicians. There are the companies and corporations that have the ability to alter the decisions and the outcomes of bills and the results of meetings. Obviously the money that goes missing from the state ends up in the pockets of these companies. These are the proverbial "owners of the country" (as G. C. so cleverly put it). I agree with Bill Maher and George Carlin - the crowd is dumb and ignorant although an individual might be smart and understanding, but the problem is that we don't have smart, intelligent people - very very occasionally one emerges and tries to make a difference. The usual response is to buy him off. Silence him that way. Or maybe just make him an offer he can't turn down - "How would you like to be a minister in the government?" We all know that 99% of the time that intelligent person is greedy and not rich . . . the greed gets them almost every time. There are others that are smart and are high in an office. But they're too smart to help everybody else - they know the best way to scam a little to provide a comfortable future for his own family for generations to come. This is no use to the middle class. They still drive 20 miles to their jobs that they usually loathe. They work late to get some extra cash to afford that second half-coat of paint for their wooden garden furniture. It seems pathetic and it is but it's the only option for them - it's "deal with it or wither". Very rarely a person might emerge that rises quickly without help from parents, relatives or acquaintances - just themselves. They rise quickly to a fair position in life and retain the hope that someday - in a few generations - his kids' kids' kid becomes the president of the local branch of the company. And again - his own interests lie in the way of the greater good.

Of course you got to look after yourself before trying to save the world. I do it too - I eat and then see what the others at the table do. I don't starve just so my brother could have his way - fuck that - I saw the KFC first, so I go first. But the point remains - one ordinary person cannot make a huge difference. That's why the credit crunch affects people that were struggling to begin with more. That's finally my point - economic collapse causes the rich to get richer and the poor to stay poor. But the middle class - they keep their heads down, do their job and go on with their lives as if nothing had happened. And that's what I like in this day and age - I never worried about the economy - I knew even when it started that in every nation there is that middle level that will stay the same forever. Ok, some poor people get to the middle class or even higher up and sometimes the rich lose their money and become middle class or even lower down. And the middle class might travel both ways. But in general - the situation is the same in the middle. The rich and the poor move further away from the ordinary people. And thank the Big Bang Theory for that. I see no reason to panic, unless for some strange reason the middle class died out. Since that is virtually impossible, I revel on the sight of the working class citizen (whom I no doubt one day will be). I marvel at those ignorant people, because I know that I'm safe when there's at least one civil servant to be found within a hundred yards or so from yourself.

Crunch on! But be certain - most of us are stuck in the middle.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Bill Maher and the likes

George Carlin has been dead for over two years and still I see new posts on youtube about how "George Carlin is in hell". Now, that really is great. The Christian fundamentalists hate the guy so much that they have to tarnish even the memory of him. In his lifetime he achieved more than most religious groups manage in three generations. As my lovely and the most lovable girlfriend said - a young person in full health and in a good economical state is an idiot if that person CHOOSES to follow a two thousand year old book.

Now, please understand - Bill Maher in his documentary Religulous explains it very clearly - there is nothing wrong with believing in some higher power if that makes YOU FEEL GOOD! Right? If it helps you live you a better life, go on - believe what you want. But... please try and comprehend this - there is no afterlife. There is no God. There is no higher power that controls our life. Again, if you want to believe in a higher power to feel good and you need assurance, that is acceptable. But don't... really - don't! - come to talk to me about heaven and hell. Believe me - George Carlin is far too smart and experienced to be wrong here - there is no heaven and hell, God is a state of mind and G. C. is certainly not "burning in hell, being tormented and begging for mercy". He is six feet under and it saddens me to an unbelievable extent. His body, lifeless body is in the ground, rotting and there is no Satan poking his body with a poker or a God denying him access to paradise. He died - like we all will some day. But G. C. is immortal - to every true fan or even a true hater - he is always present. He is genuinely omnipresent. He will live forever in my mind and memories and of course youtube.

The Earth is not about to be obliterated by the second coming of Jesus. Yes, a guy named Jesus may have lived about 2000 years ago, but the fiction about him precedes him by at least 1000 years. His story is not original. He was NOT the son of God and the Bible is not literal - so the End Of Days is not coming or going or doing anything. The Earth will exist with or without people for as long as the matter, of which the Earth is made up of, holds up and after that it will collapse in itself and be another dead planet. Science is true, religion is made up. And please - make the most of what you have - G. C. predicted that he is likely to live near to a hundred years old. Sadly, he didn't. So, nobody knows how much we have got left. Be nice and try to behave! That's all I ask. There is enough of hatred and lunacy in the world - no point in exaggerating it by believing fairy tales. Seize the day and enjoy the ride.

"When you are born, you are given a ticket to a freak show... And when you are born in America, you are given front row seats" G. C. - The all time great and one of my Gods.

Monday, October 12, 2009

It's been a while

I do understand that it's been three months or a quarter of a year since I posted anything.

Though, realizing it won't get me any closer to writing anything new. So, here I go...

It never occurred to me that I would actually be sitting in a classroom and studying for another 5 years before I even had a possibility to get a job. But, guess what - here I am! Police career going downhill fast, so is the comedy career . . . We'll see, though.

It's getting late now but rest assured, I'll be back with some more dry and unfunny material...

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

A realization

I came to the conclusion. Actually a few conclusions. I now know with more certainty than ever that I know nothing about talking to people - no sense of tact what-so-ever. I can be given little hints and even great big hints that any moron should understand but I still manage to pursue a subject that makes a person uncomfortable. Or even insults them. Or worse - makes people sad. I did that recently and I felt terrible. I really need to make sure that in the future my remarks and questions are better formulated and understood equally . . .

The second and by a degree more important realization was that I never again want to discuss morality of a religion with a person that is a part of that religion. Poor misguided sheep. I really feel sad for all these people. Most religious people I know are very good people, but they never realise they're living a lie. They follow a book that's rubbish - describing a fairytale. . . And they take that fairytale as pure gold. Let me give you an example - using Christianity, as I know more about that religion than the others. In Genesis - the first book of The Old Testament - (remember - it's supposed to be taken literally because it's their sacred book) it is said as a remark, that "that time giants still roamed the Earth". Ok, really now... Giants? Be serious for a second. The second example - Adam and Eve - right? They were given the task to "be plentiful and fulfil the Earth and multiply"... OK, so far, so good. The problem arrives quickly enough - Their first children were boys. "And they married and multiplied and populated the Earth." Am I the only one to realise the obvious mistake in that story? So, ok, let's say all the children were either having sex with their parents or brothers and sisters . . . So, that's your great teaching, Christians? That we are all the descendants of a bunch of incestuous motherfuckers? Not really like the best beginning to "The Holy Book" . . . Then again - The Bible can't be taken literally, because people lived to be 800+ years old. There were giants roaming the globe. There were boats that were big enough to carry two of all the animals of the Earth . . . except that there was only one window to that boat . . . it's says so in the Bible - "Noah opened THE window that God had asked him to build" Right.

Let's have no more about it. Never again will I debate with religious people about their faith. I can't talk to them about it - it makes me so sad. Especially sad is the case of my sister, but that's another, private, story.

Monday, July 13, 2009

A few guidelines to me, myself and I

I don't need to be told all the things people want to tell me. It's just that I sometimes need to be reminded of them. As some of you (50%, I believe, since there are only two people reading this idiotic piece of writing) may know, a big part of my life is inspired by comedians, songs, poems and books and tv-shows. There are small fragments of wisdom lingering about in almost all of them.

Let's get started with a few from songs. (I'd like to say that I'm using all of the lyrics without permission and I'm expecting a huge law-suit any time now)
First in my list: Eminem.

(Hailie's Song)

Some days I sit, starin' out the window
Watchin' this world pass me by
Sometimes I think theres nothin' to live for
I almost break down and cry

Somtimes I think I'm crazy
I'm crazy, oh so crazy
Why am I here, am I just wasting my time?

But then I see my baby
Suddenly I'm not crazy
It all makes sense when I look into her eyes

[Chorus]
Somtimes it feels like the world's on my shoulders
Everyone's leanin' on me
Cuz sometimes it feels like the world's almost over
But then she comes back to me

/.../
Now you probably get this picture from my public persona
That I'm a pistol-packing drug-addict who bags on his momma,
But I wanna just take this time out to be perfectly honest
Cuz there's a lot of shit I keep bottled that hurts deep inside o' my soul, And just know that I grow colder the older I grow This boulder on my shoulder gets heavy and harder to hold
And this load is like the weight of the world
And I think my neck is breaking should I just give up,
Or try to live up to these expectations?


(Say Goodbye Hollywood)
/.../
Bury my face in comic books, cause I don't want to look
At nothin', this world's too much
I've swallowed all I could
If I could swallow a bottle of tylenol I would, and end it for good
Just say goodbye to Hollywood
I probably should, these problems are piling all at once
Cause everything that bothers me, I got it bottled up
I think i'm bottomin' out
But i'm not about to give up, I gotta get up

/.../
I don't wanna quit, but shit, I feel like this is it
/.../
It's like the boy in the bubble, who never could adapt, i'm trapped
/.../

Till I Collapse

'Cause sometimes you feel tired,
feel weak, and when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up.
But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
and just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up
and not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.

/.../
And its absurd how people hang on every word.
I’ll probably never get the props I feel I ever deserve
But I’ll never be served my spot is forever reserved
If I ever leave earth that would be the death of me first.
Cause in my heart of hearts I know nothing could ever be worse.


When the Music Stops

Music, reality, sometimes it's hard to tell the difference
/.../
If I were to die murdered in cold blood tomorrow
Would you feel sorrow or show love
Or would it matter
Can never be the lead-off batter of things
Shit for me to feed off
I'm see-saw battling
But theres way too much at stake for me to be fake
There's too much on my plate
And I came way too far in this game to turn and walk away
And not say what I got to say
What the fuck you take me for? a joke? you smoking crack?
Before I do that, I beg Mariah to take me back
I get up 'for I get down, run myself in the ground, 'for I put some wack shit out
I'm trying-a smack this one out the park, five-thousand mark
You all steady trying to drown the shark
Ain't gonna do nothing but piss me off
Lid to the can of whoop ass, just twist me off
See me leap out, pull the piece out, fuck shooting I'm just trying to knock his teeth out
Fuck with me now, bitch, let's see you freestyle
Talk is cheap, motherfucker if you're really feeling froggish, leap
You're slim, you're gonna let him get away with that?
He tried to play you, you can't let him 'scape with that
Man I hate this crap, this ain't rap,
This is crazy the way we act
When we confuse hip-hop with real life when the music stops
/.../
Music's changed my life in so many ways
Brains confused and fucked since the 5th grade

Rock Bottom

This song is dedicated to all the happy people
All the happy people who have real nice lives
And who have no idea whats it like to be broke as fuck

[Verse One:]
I feel like I'm walking a tight rope, without a circus net
I'm popping percocets, I'm a nervous wreck
/.../
That's Rock Bottom
When this life makes you mad enough to kill
That's Rock Bottom
When you want something bad enough to steal
That's Rock Bottom
When you feel you have had it up to here
Cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear

[Verse Two:]
My life is full of empty promises
And broken dreams
I'm hoping things will look up
But there ain't no job openings
I feel discouraged hungry and malnourished
Living in this house with no furnace, unfurnished
And I'm sick of working dead end jobs with lame pay
And I'm tired of being hired and fired the same day
But fuck it, if you know the rules to the game play
Cause when we die we know were all going the same way
It's cool to be player, but it sucks to be the fan
When all you need is bucks to be the man
Plus a luxury sedan
Too comfortable and roomy in a six
They threw me in the mix
With all these gloomy lunatics
Walk around depressed
And smoke a pound of ses a day
And yesterday went by so quick it seems like it was just today
My daughter wants to throw the ball but I'm too stressed to play
Live half my life and throw the rest away

[Chorus]

There's people that love me and people that hate me
But it's the evil that made me this backstabbing, deceitful, and shady
I want the money, the women, the fortune, and the fame
That Means I'll end up burning in hell scorching in flames
That means I'm stealing your checkbook and forging your name
Lifetime bliss for eternal torture and pain
Right now I feel like just hit the rock bottom
I got problems now everybody on my blocks got 'em

My Dad's Gone Crazy

There's no mountain i can't climb
There's no tower too high,
No plane that i can't learn how to fly
What do i gotta do to get through to you, to show you
There ain't nothing i can't take this chainsaw to
/.../
My songs can make you cry, take you by surprise
And at the same time, make you dry your eyes with the same rhyme
See what you're seeing is a genius at work
Which to me isn't work, so it's easy to misinterpret it at first,
Cuz when i speak, it's tongue in cheek
I'd yank my fuckin teeth before id ever bite my tongue
I'd slice my gums, get struck by fuckin' lightning twice at once
And die and come back as vanilla ice's son
And walk around the rest of my life spit on
And kicked and hit with shit, every time i sung
Like R Kelly as soon as "bump n' grind" comes on
More pain inside of my brain, than the eyes of a little girl inside of a
plane
Aimed at the World Trade, standin' on Ronnie's grave,
Screaming at the sky, till clouds gather as Clyde Mathers and Bonnie Jade
And thats pretty much the gist of it,Parents are pissed, but the kids love
it
Nine millimeter, heater stashed, in two-seaters with meat cleavers
I don't blame you, i wouldn't let hailie listen to me neither

Sing For The Moment


[Verse 1]
These ideas are nightmares to white parents
Whose worst fear is a child with dyed hair and who likes earrings
Like whatever they say has no bearing, it's so scary in a house that allows
no swearing
To see him walking around with his headphones blaring
Alone in his own zone, cold and he don't care
He's a problem child
And what bothers him all comes out, when he talks about
His fuckin' dad walkin' out
Cause he just hates him so bad that he blocks him out
If he ever saw him again he'd probably knock him out
His thoughts are whacked, he's mad so he's talkin' back
Talkin' black, brainwashed from rock and rap
He sags his pants, do-rags and a stocking cap
His step-father hit him, so he socked him back, and broke his nose
His house is a broken home, there's no control, he just let's his emotions
go...

[Chorus]
{C'mon}, sing with me, {sing}, sing for the years
{Sing it}, sing for the laughter, sing for the tears, {c'mon)
Sing it with me, just for today, maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you
away...
/.../
They say music can alter moods and talk to you
Well can it load a gun up for you , and cock it too
Well if it can, then the next time you assault a dude
Just tell the judge it was my fault and i'll get sued
See what these kids do is hear about us totin' pistols
And they want to get one cause they think the shit's cool
Not knowin' we really just protectin' ourselves, we entertainers
Of course the shit's affectin' our sales, you ignoramus
But music is reflection of self, we just explain it, and then we get our
checks in the mail
It's fucked up ain't it
How we can come from practically nothing to being able to have any fuckin'
thing that we wanted
That's why we sing for these kids, who don't have a thing
Except for a dream, and a fuckin' rap magazine
Who post pin-up pictures on their walls all day long
Idolize they favorite rappers and know all they songs
Or for anyone who's ever been through shit in their lives
Till they sit and they cry at night wishin' they'd die
Till they throw on a rap record and they sit, and they vibe
We're nothin' to you but we're the fuckin' shit in they eyes
That's why we seize the moment try to freeze it and own it, squeeze it and
hold it
Cause we consider these minutes golden
And maybe they'll admit it when we're gone
Just let our spirits live on, through our lyrics that you hear in our
songs and we can...

Say What You Say

Cause what you say is what you say
Say what you say how you say it whenever you saying it
Just remember how you said it when you was spraying it
So who you playing with huh huh huh huh?
/.../
[Eminem]
If I could only use this power for good
I wouldn't, not even if I could

[Dr. Dre]
From the hood and I'm a hornet
And I'ma only sting when I'm cornered

[Eminem]
And I'ma only sucker punch or swing without warning
And swing to knock somebody's fucking head off
Cause I know, when they get up, I won't get a chance to let off
Another punch, I'm punk-rock, no one's punk
Don't give a fuck, white Pac, so much spunk
When I was little I knew I would blow up
And sell a mil or grow up to be a tiller
Go nuts and be a killer
/.../
But I handle my business cause it's work before play
Don't look for trouble but I serve you gourmet
However you want it, you could have it your way
You fuck my night up, I'ma fuck up your day
Bullet with your name, sending it your way
That goes for anyone who walks through that doorway
Cause this is my space, you invade it
Live to regret it and you die trying to violate it
Fuck around and you'll get annihilated
Eyes diliated

[Eminem]
Ha, like my old lady
Cause what you say is what you say Sometimes what you mean is 2 different things
Depending on your mood, if it swings, think too many things


And last, but not least (at least for this time):

Drips

Now I don't wanna hit no woman, but this chick's got it comin', someone better get this bitch,
before she get's kicked in the stomach, and she's pregnant, but she's eggin' me on, beggin' me
to throw her off the steps of this porch, my only weapon is force and I don't wanna resort to
any violence of any sort, but what's she shovin' me for, doesn't she love me no more, wasn't she
huggin' me four minutes ago at the door, man, i'm this close to goin' toe-to-toe with this
whore, what would you do if she was tellin' you she wants a divorce, she's havin' another baby
in a month, and it's yours, and you find out it isn't cause this bitch has been visitin' someone
else, and suckin' his dick and kissin' you on the lips when you get back, to Michigan, now the
plot is thickenin' worse, cause you feel like you've been stickin' your fuckin' dick in a
hearse, so you paranoid at every little cold that you get, ever since they told you this shit,
you've been holdin' your dick, so you go to the clinic, sweatin' every minute you in it, then
the doctor comes out lookin' like Dennis the Menace, and it's obvious to everyone in the lobby
it's AIDS, he ain't even gotta call you in his office to say it, so you jet back home, cause you
gon' get that hoe, when you see her, you gon' bend her fuckin' neck back, yo', cause you love her, you never would expect that blow, Obie told you the scoop, how could she stoop that low,
Jesus, I don't believe this, bitch works at the cleaners, bringin' me home diseases, swingin'
from Obie's penis, she's so deceivin', shit this hoe's a genius, she g'd us...

Now, all these songs and many more have influenced me greatly during my life. . . some more than others, some definitely saying more about myself than I could ever say about myself, some just good to listen to . . . and all of them with a special meaning known only to me.

PS! All lyrics I copied from www.azlyrics.com and I thank azlyrics for providing them and also I'd like to hope that no-one of any influence or importance happens to read this blog, otherwise I'd be in a little bit of a mess. But I'll continue to infringe copyright laws next time with a few more songs and some comedians...

Logic

"From a drop of water, a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. So all life is a great chain, the nature of which is known wherever we are shown a single link of it. Like all other arts, the Science of Deduction and Analysis is one which can only be aquired by long and patient study, nor is life long enough to allow any mortal to attain the highest possible perfection in it. Before turning to those moral and mental aspects of the matter which present the greatest difficulties, let the enquirer begin by mastering more elementary problems. Let him, on meetng a fellow-mortal, learn at a glance to distinguish the history of the man and the trade or profession to which he belongs. Puerile as such an exercise may seem, it sharpens the faculties of observation, and teaches one where to look and what to look for. By a man's fingernails, by his coat-sleeve, by his boot, by his trouser-knees, by the callosities of his forefinger and thumb, by his expression, by his shirt-cuffs - by each of these things a man's calling is plainly revealed. That all united should fail to enlighten the competent enquirer in any case is almost invonceivable."