I see now what I've been like and I don't like it. I've hurt too many people by doing all sorts of things. I would like to change but how can I? I've gone too far. I don't see a way out. I'm trying, but my actions seem to backfire every single time.
It doesn't make any sense. When I try and be nice, I am crucified by the same people who I was nice to. A simple "don't act like that" would've been nice. I'd appreciate it if people told me what they thought of me right away. I'd really like to know. I found out a couple of days ago that I was completely misunderstood by a person of the opposite sex and she kept it in her for about a year. Of course there is no excuse for my actions. It appears that I acted really badly around her. For this I'm sorry, cause I did not even notice it myself. I am grateful that she finally had the nerve to tell me, otherwise I would've never known.
I would just like to take this opportunity to apologize to all the people I've hurt. (The list is long and I don't expect all of them to forgive me. But I'm working on it - I'm sorting out all the people I've hurt one way or another and begging for their forgiveness. I just hope it works. I do realize that a bigger portion of the people never will forgive me, but at least I'm doing something to recuperate for the damage I've made.)
On another note - I just found out that people are awfully mean, devious and mischievous. I try and live my life without interrupting too many people. But I do manage to get in the way of a few. I don't know what I've done wrong but I get punished for everything I do. I hate someone and his/her acquaintances make my life tough; I love someone and the same happens; I try and be out of someone's way - still the same thing happens. How? Why? Why has no one the courage to tell ME what they think? Why am I the last to know? Too many questions. I know.
Now, I've decided I will find all the answers I can. I want to know all (opposite to a certain Manuel, who apparently knows nooooothing about Witnit). And I will devote my life to finding out certain truths, so I could live with myself and with others. I'm sick of others (both male and female) and myself. I have to think very hard now, when I want to say something, because it might hurt someone. That has made me very careful with words. I don't believe I'll turn back to talking to people like I used to . . . not until I am certain of myself.
Sorry, it seems I have lost myself somewhere in the simplicity of life. I gotta find myself, excuse me.
It doesn't make any sense. When I try and be nice, I am crucified by the same people who I was nice to. A simple "don't act like that" would've been nice. I'd appreciate it if people told me what they thought of me right away. I'd really like to know. I found out a couple of days ago that I was completely misunderstood by a person of the opposite sex and she kept it in her for about a year. Of course there is no excuse for my actions. It appears that I acted really badly around her. For this I'm sorry, cause I did not even notice it myself. I am grateful that she finally had the nerve to tell me, otherwise I would've never known.
I would just like to take this opportunity to apologize to all the people I've hurt. (The list is long and I don't expect all of them to forgive me. But I'm working on it - I'm sorting out all the people I've hurt one way or another and begging for their forgiveness. I just hope it works. I do realize that a bigger portion of the people never will forgive me, but at least I'm doing something to recuperate for the damage I've made.)
On another note - I just found out that people are awfully mean, devious and mischievous. I try and live my life without interrupting too many people. But I do manage to get in the way of a few. I don't know what I've done wrong but I get punished for everything I do. I hate someone and his/her acquaintances make my life tough; I love someone and the same happens; I try and be out of someone's way - still the same thing happens. How? Why? Why has no one the courage to tell ME what they think? Why am I the last to know? Too many questions. I know.
Now, I've decided I will find all the answers I can. I want to know all (opposite to a certain Manuel, who apparently knows nooooothing about Witnit). And I will devote my life to finding out certain truths, so I could live with myself and with others. I'm sick of others (both male and female) and myself. I have to think very hard now, when I want to say something, because it might hurt someone. That has made me very careful with words. I don't believe I'll turn back to talking to people like I used to . . . not until I am certain of myself.
Sorry, it seems I have lost myself somewhere in the simplicity of life. I gotta find myself, excuse me.
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