Don't you ever get the feeling that you can't grasp anything anymore - all of it seems to slipping away . . . ? I do - right now. I feel something . . . I know something will happen very soon and it grieves the hell out of me, that I don't know what it is. I feel like the CIA (Central Intuitive Agency) working with Ms Cleo. (Robin Williams:))
Seriously - I need to think. Just take some time and figure all of this shit out. Thank you, that's all.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Flashback
Now - I shouldn't remember it, but I had the weirdest flasback in my life. I went to a store (a corner-shop, kiosk, if you please) and as I stepped in I could feel the shivers on my spine . . . As I were reliving the experiences of these thousands of people, who stood in long lines everyday, just to get a loaf of bread. I looked around in that shop and all I could feel, was despair - the shelves were empty. I have never seen such a sight (no, I've seen it, but I don't remember it). I felt gratitude for having something like close to a hundred stores I could choose from, but I selt of surge of realization wash over me. This is what stores were like not so long ago - I was alive at that time. And then another realization hit me - in Cuba . . . it's still like that. People waiting in long, long lines just so that they could survive. I'm not even going to mention the problems in Africa, because when I get to the poverty and wars that take place there every day, I would type away for a whole day.
Instead, I despise myself. Just imagine the life my parents gave me. I've had everything I ever wanted. And still I complained. :S:S:S I wanted a toy, a treat, a bag of chips or whatever . . . at a time, when my mom was living alone, raising two children and working double-shifts just to keep the family alive. My respect for my mother and her parents rose like a thousand-fold. Just imagine . . .
Instead, I despise myself. Just imagine the life my parents gave me. I've had everything I ever wanted. And still I complained. :S:S:S I wanted a toy, a treat, a bag of chips or whatever . . . at a time, when my mom was living alone, raising two children and working double-shifts just to keep the family alive. My respect for my mother and her parents rose like a thousand-fold. Just imagine . . .
Monday, March 16, 2009
Exponentially.
Continuing with Lewis Black. :)
"But this year's Superbowl was historic, because for the first time ever I spent the first six minutes watching this game, they went to four minutes of commercials, they came back . . . I forgot who was playing. And some of the commercials are spectacular, they're extraordinary, they're like mystery stories. You don't even know what they are selling, until the very end. . . .Three rabbits are on a log and one of them goes home and hangs himself. . . . . Buy a bike . . .
Pepsi ran an ad. At the last Superbowl, there was the most psychotic ad I've ever seen. The ad was starring Britney Spears. She came out and she was singing about Pepsi. But you don't know what she was singing, cause she can't sing. So the message you got, was titty, titty, titty, ass, ass, ass, titty, titty, ass, ass, ass, more ass, titty, titty, titty, ass, ass, titty, titty, ass. Then it was half-time. And half-time at the Superbowl is the best. Because half-time at the Superbowl has gotten exponentially worse every year. I use the word exponentially, because I was taught it in a math class and that's the first sentence I could use it in. Exponentially worse means crappier and crappier and crappier. Last year the half-time show was presented by MTV. Cause, when I think music - oh yeah, I think MTV. The people, who have done everything they could in my lifetime to destroy music as I know it. And in case you don't realize it, MTV is to music, as KFC is to chicken. So who does MTV get to play at half-time? They get N'Sync. Sure, cause when I think football, I think N'Sync. And it was interesting cause I'd never heard N'Sync play, cause when they come on, I like to take a pencil and shove it in my ear. And that would have been enough for a half-time show, but no. Quite shortly thereafter they are joined by AeroSmith. I have N'Sync and AeroSmith . . . and I am confused. N'Sync and AeroSmith are two bands that shouldn't be in the same state at the same time. So N'Sync and AeroSmith began to play, but they played was no music. What you heard was the sound of chaos. I know that sounds strange, but it's true. Because I could hear the sounds of pigs being slaughtered, and women were weeping and men were gnashing their teeth. I heard sounds that were so horrible, if I were to repeat them to you, you would flee this room in horror. I thought - this has got to be over soon. I've been watching this half-time show since I was eleven years old. But no. The boys are joined by Britney Spears. I have N'Sync and AeroSmith and Britney Spears - I have trifecta from hell. But I was lucky, because I had a spoon in my hand and I shoved it up my ass. . . . . . . you may be wondering why - to distract myself from the pain. Because if I'm gonna hurt that much, I'm gonna do it to myself. Oprah calls that empowerment."
One last thought to end the program. The more you learn, the more you realize how much more there is to learn. And to top it all off - CandyCorn is the only candy in the history of the United States that has never been advertised - just a little sneak preview.
And remember folks, demolition is always much, much easier than building - especially now - that credit crunch has left people homeless and house foundationless and foundations houseless and houses wall-less and again people hopeless. The really saddening part is the graph that shows that in January there were thousands of robberies and burglaries. And here comes the saddest part - some of the people who got swept away by the credit crunch and turned to thievery have now gone to take their own lives. That is sad indeed - life is sacred, I believe and to waste it by deceiting God (or intelligent design - whatever you wanna call Him) . . . well, it's an easier way out. But even I, who has considered suicide one time or another in my life, have found reasons to live - not one, but many.
Please, come to your senses!
"But this year's Superbowl was historic, because for the first time ever I spent the first six minutes watching this game, they went to four minutes of commercials, they came back . . . I forgot who was playing. And some of the commercials are spectacular, they're extraordinary, they're like mystery stories. You don't even know what they are selling, until the very end. . . .Three rabbits are on a log and one of them goes home and hangs himself. . . . . Buy a bike . . .
Pepsi ran an ad. At the last Superbowl, there was the most psychotic ad I've ever seen. The ad was starring Britney Spears. She came out and she was singing about Pepsi. But you don't know what she was singing, cause she can't sing. So the message you got, was titty, titty, titty, ass, ass, ass, titty, titty, ass, ass, ass, more ass, titty, titty, titty, ass, ass, titty, titty, ass. Then it was half-time. And half-time at the Superbowl is the best. Because half-time at the Superbowl has gotten exponentially worse every year. I use the word exponentially, because I was taught it in a math class and that's the first sentence I could use it in. Exponentially worse means crappier and crappier and crappier. Last year the half-time show was presented by MTV. Cause, when I think music - oh yeah, I think MTV. The people, who have done everything they could in my lifetime to destroy music as I know it. And in case you don't realize it, MTV is to music, as KFC is to chicken. So who does MTV get to play at half-time? They get N'Sync. Sure, cause when I think football, I think N'Sync. And it was interesting cause I'd never heard N'Sync play, cause when they come on, I like to take a pencil and shove it in my ear. And that would have been enough for a half-time show, but no. Quite shortly thereafter they are joined by AeroSmith. I have N'Sync and AeroSmith . . . and I am confused. N'Sync and AeroSmith are two bands that shouldn't be in the same state at the same time. So N'Sync and AeroSmith began to play, but they played was no music. What you heard was the sound of chaos. I know that sounds strange, but it's true. Because I could hear the sounds of pigs being slaughtered, and women were weeping and men were gnashing their teeth. I heard sounds that were so horrible, if I were to repeat them to you, you would flee this room in horror. I thought - this has got to be over soon. I've been watching this half-time show since I was eleven years old. But no. The boys are joined by Britney Spears. I have N'Sync and AeroSmith and Britney Spears - I have trifecta from hell. But I was lucky, because I had a spoon in my hand and I shoved it up my ass. . . . . . . you may be wondering why - to distract myself from the pain. Because if I'm gonna hurt that much, I'm gonna do it to myself. Oprah calls that empowerment."
One last thought to end the program. The more you learn, the more you realize how much more there is to learn. And to top it all off - CandyCorn is the only candy in the history of the United States that has never been advertised - just a little sneak preview.
And remember folks, demolition is always much, much easier than building - especially now - that credit crunch has left people homeless and house foundationless and foundations houseless and houses wall-less and again people hopeless. The really saddening part is the graph that shows that in January there were thousands of robberies and burglaries. And here comes the saddest part - some of the people who got swept away by the credit crunch and turned to thievery have now gone to take their own lives. That is sad indeed - life is sacred, I believe and to waste it by deceiting God (or intelligent design - whatever you wanna call Him) . . . well, it's an easier way out. But even I, who has considered suicide one time or another in my life, have found reasons to live - not one, but many.
Please, come to your senses!
School
As I have resorted to only writing inexplicable and ludicrous texts, here we go again. And I quote: (this time from a comedy show by Lewis Black) "I've seen the end of the Universe and it's in the United States and oddly enough it's in Houston, Texas. Imagine my surprise, when I left the comedy club one day and walked to the end of the block. And on one streetcorner there was a Starbucks... And opposite to that Starbucks, in the same exact building as that Starbucks, there was a Starbucks. I looked back and forth, thinking the Sun was playing tricks with my eyes. But there was a Starbucks across from a Starbucks. [...] What kind of people need the service of a Starbucks across from a Starbucks. I thought about this long and hard and I found only one group people. There's only one group of people that would make this joke of mine work. And these are people with Alzheimer's. It has to be a group of people that can drink coffee all day and then walk across the floor and open the door and say: "Gentlemen, do my eyes decieve me? I believe that's a Starbucks. I believe that it's time for a cup-a-Joe!" [...] I say that's the end of the Universe. People ask how do I know. I say, go there, look at your watch, time stands still!"
Stand still and observe - observe people all around you and respect them. I know I'm in search of the utopic way of life. But I can't help it. I just need to see happiness. All I can see in people, are insults, deceitfulness, disillusionment, heartache and despair. People may seem to happy and confident on the first glance. But when looked deeper and deeper inside people, I have come to find out, that most people are insecure inside, like lost puppies in a crowded fun-fair, like lost little children in a crowded Madonna concert. All are in search and pursuit of something . . . most are pursuing goals, that they will never achieve. And most have seen troubled times and have been hurt - severely. And I feel sorry for them. As Eminem sang . . . "I can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh, I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you wanna cry, cause you're scared [...]"
That's what I have noticed too - the eyes betray us. I have seen it far too often to take it non-chalantly. I care, believe it or not. I just met a wonderful person and even though she smiles a lot and she has a very beautiful smile, I can see in her eyes that she's troubled, she's having a problem, a memory she can't get rid of. She is slightly older than me and yet as I peek inside herself, I see that her heart and soul are younger than me. She hides, like most of us, behind a pretended faćade of confidence. And I feel so bad and I feel so sad for them, for I don't have a heart, I have a piece of flint as a heart-substitute. I'd like to comfort all those people, but I'm too selfish . . .
With that I leave you today to sit and wonder - what the f**k is wrong with this EMO? And I grant you that . . . I may be an emo for your eyes and I won't get offended for as I said - my heart has been replaced by a piece of stone-cold flint.
Stand still and observe - observe people all around you and respect them. I know I'm in search of the utopic way of life. But I can't help it. I just need to see happiness. All I can see in people, are insults, deceitfulness, disillusionment, heartache and despair. People may seem to happy and confident on the first glance. But when looked deeper and deeper inside people, I have come to find out, that most people are insecure inside, like lost puppies in a crowded fun-fair, like lost little children in a crowded Madonna concert. All are in search and pursuit of something . . . most are pursuing goals, that they will never achieve. And most have seen troubled times and have been hurt - severely. And I feel sorry for them. As Eminem sang . . . "I can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh, I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you wanna cry, cause you're scared [...]"
That's what I have noticed too - the eyes betray us. I have seen it far too often to take it non-chalantly. I care, believe it or not. I just met a wonderful person and even though she smiles a lot and she has a very beautiful smile, I can see in her eyes that she's troubled, she's having a problem, a memory she can't get rid of. She is slightly older than me and yet as I peek inside herself, I see that her heart and soul are younger than me. She hides, like most of us, behind a pretended faćade of confidence. And I feel so bad and I feel so sad for them, for I don't have a heart, I have a piece of flint as a heart-substitute. I'd like to comfort all those people, but I'm too selfish . . .
With that I leave you today to sit and wonder - what the f**k is wrong with this EMO? And I grant you that . . . I may be an emo for your eyes and I won't get offended for as I said - my heart has been replaced by a piece of stone-cold flint.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Uutšitsja, uutšitsja, uutšitsja
Eks nii see läheb . . . kirjutangi eesti keeles. No, vahepeal ikka võib. Blogid . . . ja kõik muu jura siin elus saab kord otsa. Saab otsa raha, sest seda pole tegelikult kunagi olnudki; saab otsa sõprus, sest ka selline asi tegelikult ei eksisteeri (on vaid keemilised reaktsioonid inimeste kehades, mis saavad alguse aju erinevaist kihtidest ja piirkondadest) jne jne jne. Saab otsa kõik hea ja saab otsa kõik halb. Õhus on tunda lõppemise lõhna. Iga suletud ukse kohta on kuskil avatud aken ja vice versa (parafraseering).
"You gotta laugh while you can." (Carlos Mencia). Pidage see meeles! "Be on the look-out for things that make you laugh, if you see nothing worth laughing at, pretend you see it, then laugh!" (Bill Bailey, Black Books. Pidage ka see meeles.
Ja dieedifriikidele kogu maailmas: "Viis minutit naeru asendab pätsi leiba!" (Five minutes of laughter substitutes a loaf of bread.) (N.Nossov)
Lõpetaks selle kõige loogikavastasema blogi tsitaadiga filmist "Johnny English" . . . "Jesus is coming, act busy!"
"You gotta laugh while you can." (Carlos Mencia). Pidage see meeles! "Be on the look-out for things that make you laugh, if you see nothing worth laughing at, pretend you see it, then laugh!" (Bill Bailey, Black Books. Pidage ka see meeles.
Ja dieedifriikidele kogu maailmas: "Viis minutit naeru asendab pätsi leiba!" (Five minutes of laughter substitutes a loaf of bread.) (N.Nossov)
Lõpetaks selle kõige loogikavastasema blogi tsitaadiga filmist "Johnny English" . . . "Jesus is coming, act busy!"
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
आईटी'स थे फिनल कोउन्त्दोवं.
नो, इ वास अस्केद तो राइट अन एंडिंग तो माय ब्लॉग। तेरे विल बे नोन - अस माय ब्लॉग इस थे वे आईटी इस बेकाउसे आईटी इस थे वे आईटी इस। इफ आईटी वासन'टी वे आईटी इस, आईटी वौल्दं'टी बे थऐ वे आईटी इस।
आईटी वास फूं फॉर अ व्हिले। थैंक्स फॉर बीइंग हियर विथ में एंड एवें रीडिंग सम ऑफ़ थे जंक इ पोस्टेड हियर।
इ नेवर क्नेव व्रितिंग कोउल्ड बे थिस फूं, बुत नो इ क्नोव - वहत'स फूं फॉर में, दोएसं'टी गो वेल विथ ओथेर पीपुल। नेवेर मंद - इ'ल सून बे ऑफ़।
:) बाय, या'ल
आईटी वास फूं फॉर अ व्हिले। थैंक्स फॉर बीइंग हियर विथ में एंड एवें रीडिंग सम ऑफ़ थे जंक इ पोस्टेड हियर।
इ नेवर क्नेव व्रितिंग कोउल्ड बे थिस फूं, बुत नो इ क्नोव - वहत'स फूं फॉर में, दोएसं'टी गो वेल विथ ओथेर पीपुल। नेवेर मंद - इ'ल सून बे ऑफ़।
:) बाय, या'ल
Thursday, March 5, 2009
I've got N'Sync, Aerosmith and Britney . . . and I'm confused
"Here we are - born to be kings. We're the princes of the Universe." (Queen)
Still, what are we really - a complex compilation of even more complex systems . . . (like the self-replicating DNA etc). We are just beings looking for a place in this world. Some of us choose totally wrong careers - that's why we see so many angry people amongst ourselves: shop-keepers who despise their every client; taxi-drivers who despise their every client; police officers who despise their every "client". And then there are those, who read too much into things - get offended for a totally meaningless blog; those who see the world plainly in black and white; those who seem to find it totally absurd to even consider a meaningful argument. I reminds me of Carlos Mencia: "How retarded do you have to be to look at a dog and say: "Hey, that's me!!!"?.
We all come from different backgrounds, we all have different views, we all see the world and other people differently. As I have said - I don't consider myself superior nor inferior to any human being - I just am. Let's get this straight once and for all. I do not exalt myself above anyone. Nor do I berate myself. I do not think that I'm better than anyone and I refuse to believe that I'm not as good as everyone else. I just exist . . . We all have the same opportunities - we all start from scratch. (Robin Williams: "Some people are born great, some achieve greatness, some get it as a graduation gift!")
I disagree to some extent - Ok, some people acquire a certain position thanks to their parents. But to be a "great person" - that's a different thing altogether. Some say - genes make out what we are to become . . . nope - the person makes out what becomes of him/her. Who becomes a great person, is successful. Who does not - is not successful and has only himself to blame. The ones that do not achieve greatness, only find excuses - like me . . . (I always make the sort of excuses Carlos Mencia would murder me for: "If a black man can't get a job, the white men took it; when a woman can't get a job, the men with their evil penises of death took it etc.)
Only that I don't make excuses about my job, cause I don't work yet. But the idea remains the same.
OK, that post made no sense once again, so Helena can be happy about her again. (but one good day I will set fire to a house that carries a name "Alekand's house" on it). And to close this post off, I need to apologize to all the people I have hurt directly and indirectly with my posts. I apologize sincerely, for I never wanted to hurt anyone. And to let you all - 3 of you, right? - know, that from now on I might be posting only short and meaningless posts here with all my other posts will go to another, private blog, that only I can view (thanks to some angry "fan-mail" - it only confirmed my initial idea, that this blog is a waste of everyone else's time).
I know noone cares, but as my ideas are not accepted by others (although I knew that beforehand) I decided to not make matters worse by trying to change this blog or my views. I'll just move on to publishing my own views to only myself. It was great writing to you, guys - Merlin, Helena, Helena and Kristi. Sorry to have taken up so much of your time. Bye.
Still, what are we really - a complex compilation of even more complex systems . . . (like the self-replicating DNA etc). We are just beings looking for a place in this world. Some of us choose totally wrong careers - that's why we see so many angry people amongst ourselves: shop-keepers who despise their every client; taxi-drivers who despise their every client; police officers who despise their every "client". And then there are those, who read too much into things - get offended for a totally meaningless blog; those who see the world plainly in black and white; those who seem to find it totally absurd to even consider a meaningful argument. I reminds me of Carlos Mencia: "How retarded do you have to be to look at a dog and say: "Hey, that's me!!!"?.
We all come from different backgrounds, we all have different views, we all see the world and other people differently. As I have said - I don't consider myself superior nor inferior to any human being - I just am. Let's get this straight once and for all. I do not exalt myself above anyone. Nor do I berate myself. I do not think that I'm better than anyone and I refuse to believe that I'm not as good as everyone else. I just exist . . . We all have the same opportunities - we all start from scratch. (Robin Williams: "Some people are born great, some achieve greatness, some get it as a graduation gift!")
I disagree to some extent - Ok, some people acquire a certain position thanks to their parents. But to be a "great person" - that's a different thing altogether. Some say - genes make out what we are to become . . . nope - the person makes out what becomes of him/her. Who becomes a great person, is successful. Who does not - is not successful and has only himself to blame. The ones that do not achieve greatness, only find excuses - like me . . . (I always make the sort of excuses Carlos Mencia would murder me for: "If a black man can't get a job, the white men took it; when a woman can't get a job, the men with their evil penises of death took it etc.)
Only that I don't make excuses about my job, cause I don't work yet. But the idea remains the same.
OK, that post made no sense once again, so Helena can be happy about her again. (but one good day I will set fire to a house that carries a name "Alekand's house" on it). And to close this post off, I need to apologize to all the people I have hurt directly and indirectly with my posts. I apologize sincerely, for I never wanted to hurt anyone. And to let you all - 3 of you, right? - know, that from now on I might be posting only short and meaningless posts here with all my other posts will go to another, private blog, that only I can view (thanks to some angry "fan-mail" - it only confirmed my initial idea, that this blog is a waste of everyone else's time).
I know noone cares, but as my ideas are not accepted by others (although I knew that beforehand) I decided to not make matters worse by trying to change this blog or my views. I'll just move on to publishing my own views to only myself. It was great writing to you, guys - Merlin, Helena, Helena and Kristi. Sorry to have taken up so much of your time. Bye.
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